Please smite me if I do not finish The Essay tonight.
p.s. "Tonight" is defined as "the period of time before I go to sleep," not "before midnight."
p.p.s. I'll have you know that it is very difficult for me to make this sort of commitment in writing because I am having the urge to drink too much alcohol and go on a drunken meander through Russian literature. Or at least read Crime and Punishment all night, starting right now and going until I finish or until 8 AM, whichever comes first. I'm feeling very hateful towards you, Universe, and also towards H.D. This does not bode well for the cohesion of the essay, since I was kindly, almost fond, towards her when I began.