12: measuring obsession

I want to count how many times I day I hug, poke, and kiss my cats in order to have an accurate gauge of how physically obsessed I am by them, but every time I start to count I become too self-conscious. The instant I begin my tally I wonder if I am holding back on kissing my white cat's baby-mouse ears just to make the number seem a little less insane. And then there's the problem of definitions. If I pick up the baby, spin her in a circle, and then kiss her nose three times, does that count as one act of affection or five? I'd get my younger brother to keep count if he could do it without actually spending all day in my presence. I need a mechanical ticker that would keep track for me. I suspect that this would be really useful information to have.