new lows

Very sad to discover that sometimes Spark Notes are enough to get you through class.

Hard Times, indeed.

paper anxiety

I continue to be crippled by my inability to write papers for good teachers. I can happily turn out shitty rambling messes for a teacher I don't care for, but I want so much to turn in good work for the excellent professors!

This is my cry of frustration to the universe. I must let it loose: I have been agonizing over a two page paper about a pulpy 19th C gothic novel. I should be able to spin this paper out in no time -- it's not like writing about Vanity Fair, which I also have to do...

Oh well. At least I am starting to accept the inevitability of my once-perfect GPA dropping drastically after this semester.

losing the blogging bug

I am alive, at school, functioning on at least a basic level. I have been memorizing poetry: too much Sylvia Plath, not enough Shakespeare, but still gratifying, still soul-feeding.

I don't know if I will ever really blog again; I don't find myself being called to this sort of self-writing. I'm taking a creative nonfiction course and every one of my autobiographical words is devoted to the weekly essays. I could, theoretically, just post what I write for that course, but there just isn't much draw in blogging for me right now. Anyway, all of the essays are written especially to please the professor. Because that's how to get good grades!

I'll keep this around. Maybe I'll start using it again at some point.